Result! \o/

After my very bleak post back in July, I have excellent news. I just paid off my first credit card! In seven months, I've paid off a balance of over $1500 by cutting drastically back on expenses and throwing all my "leftover money" at the end of the month towards my balance. So now I'm going to take the amount that I was paying monthly on that card (usually about $220) and add it to my current monthly payment on the next card. If all goes according to plan, I should be able to pay off the next card in 13 months.

So my new balances are as follows:

Card #1 - $4,147.25
Card #2 - $4,907.71
Card #3 - $7,969.41

Total: $17,024.37
Difference between last tally: down $1,535.61

Still high, but do-able now that I've managed to pay one off. I can do this.

Stupid insurance.

So. I was very excited and proud of the fact that my lowest balance card was finally going to have a balance under $1,000. I had a game plan worked out to pay it off in roughly four months, and I was feeling very motivated by that fact.

Sadly, I've run into a hiccup. I received my car insurance bill and need to pay it soon. I was going to put it on a different card (Discover) that would give me reward points for the purchase, since I'm not at a "financial comfort" zone where I can pay it in cash. But my ridiculous insurance company only accepts Mastercard, which happens to be the one card I can pay off in the foreseeable future. They are a nationwide company, so tell me - why the hell don't they accept all major credit cards?

I'm feeling disheartened, because that's going to increase my balance by $400. One step forward, two steps back. Every time I start to make progress towards climbing out of my Debt Chasm of Doom, something like this happens. I can't catch a break. For instance, I just got a promotion at work. This would normally be fantastic news, but thanks to departmental loopholes and the joyous HR department, I don't get a salary raise. I get a lot more work and stress, but no compensation for it.

I give up.

Meh.

Frugality sucks.

I know it’s sensible and generally a good idea, but not spending money is frankly boring. I can only eat uninspired, home cooked meals for so long before I start dreaming of a nice lunch out. I’ve brought the same type of boring coffee to work all week, since I can’t buy new flavored cream until my other stuff has been used up – which also means that frosty Starbucks drinks are dancing in my head. It’s making me grumpy.

I know it’s silly, but when you’re not allowed to shop everything seems that much more enticing and desirable. Much like dieting, I hope it gets easier after time. Right now, all I can think about is a list of items that I would dearly love to purchase. None of them are “needs”, and most of them are things that fiscally responsible people would consider frivolous. I don’t know what makes some people spenders and some savers, but life would certainly be easier if I fell into the latter category.

Saving money is obviously a good idea. So is paying down debt. I know I have to do both of those things if I want to accomplish some bigger things in my life, such as owning a home. But focusing on the bigger picture does nothing to satisfy my cravings for a bustle skirt or a new box of Lush bubble bars. Does anyone have any idea how to counteract the “wants”?

It’s amazing sometimes how spending can be so tied to emotion. For example, I brought a boring peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch all week. I wanted to go out to lunch yesterday, and when I realized that I couldn’t afford it, I got sulky and resentful. I was aware that I was being stroppy but was powerless to stop. 

So the question is this: how do you focus on the big picture to get past everyday hurdles?

Not Buying It and July tally

I’m currently reading (or rather, re-reading) a fantastic book by Judith Levine called “Not Buying It.” The premise is simple: the author and her partner decided to go one year without buying anything. There were provisions, of course. They allowed themselves to buy the necessities, which included groceries and insulin for their diabetic cat. What started out as a simple social experiment turns into a fascinating treatise on consumer culture and the darker side of economics. Obviously I enjoyed it the first time around, if I’m willing to read it again.

I’m not sure if I could go a whole year without recreational shopping, but I’m considering trying this project for a shorter period of time. Since a lot of my problems stem from money, or rather my inability to hold onto my money, it certainly couldn’t hurt. I might be able to actually pay down more on my credit cards – and maybe even save a little. That would be nice, huh?

The bigger question is how long can I last? Given my spending habits, I think a month would be a decent start. If I make it for a month, then I can stretch it out to a longer period of time. It’s going to be hard, though – I love to shop. Obviously, I will be allowed to purchase groceries and pet supplies, as well as gasoline for my car.  What other items count as “essential”?

To keep me accountable, here is my outstanding balance tally after making July payments:

Card 1: $1,334.40

Card 2: $4,292.89

Card 3: $5,054.19

Card 4: $7,878.50

Total: $18,559.98

Difference between last tally:-50.57

A small dent, but still lower than last time. Yay?

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Wow.. I haven’t updated my blog in ages. In fact, I forgot it existed for quite some time until I started recently follow a few personal finance blogs and remembered that I had started one myself. Reading through the old posts makes me cringe a bit, for a few different reasons. The first being that I’m definitely not Weir-obsessed anymore, so please excuse my former ramblings. #embarrassed

The second and even more cringe-inducing one is that I’ve barely managed to make a dent in my four cards. Let’s tot them up, shall we?

Card 1: $1,332.56

Card 2: $4,292.89

Card 3: $5,106.60

Card 4: $7,878.50

Terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad total: $18,610.55

What does this mean? In the two years since I’ve updated, I’ve actually managed to increase my total outstanding balance by $319.43.

Ouch.

But I’m back at it with a vengeance. I have a plan, and that plan is called the Snowball method. I obviously didn’t come up with it (I think that may be down to Dave Ramsey, actually) but I’m going to use it to dig myself out. If you’re not familiar with the concept, snowballing is essentially throwing all the money you can afford at the lowest balance, while continuing to make the minimum payments on all your other cards. When that “lowest” card is paid off, you add the payment from Card 1 to the payment to card 2, thereby increasing your monthly payments. You do the same until all balances are paid off.

Ideally, I will have my cards paid off in three years. I may be able to pull that off, I may not – as I’ve said before, I do love to shop. My life is generally sad, so sometimes buying myself a book or a bath ballistic from Lush makes me a little less miserable. I know that the happiness = things mindset is probably unhealthy and ultimately damaging, but seriously.. I’ve got nothing in my life, so oh well. 

Judge me all you want; you can’t be harder on me than I already am to myself.

Wow, so.. it's been nearly a year since I've updated this blog. I'm basically still in the same credit card mess as before, only now I've managed to tack on another grand in debt. But I've started the snowball method, as well as made a bitchin' spreadsheet (yes, I'm a nerd) and I'm trying to take control of my finances so I feel like an adult one day. O_O

Keep your eyes open for a new blog post about the snowball method, and probably a lot of flailing over the fact that I'm going to Skate for Hope in Columbus next weekend. Yes, that show that I had to skip last year (a few blog posts ago). Should be good times. :)

Hep me if you can, I'm feeling down..

I’m not against asking for help when the situation calls for it. I don’t pretend to have all the answers.

Now, the credit cards.. yeah, maybe I do need help, but I’m stubborn. I want to try to solve my problems on my own, no matter how long it takes me. Would I prefer to have a windfall? Winning the lottery, a reclusive relative who I’ve never met leaving me millions, finally selling my manuscript? Sure, who wouldn’t. But things like that only happen to the incredibly lucky people who are also usually a-holes.

I got myself into this mess, and I’m going to get myself out of it – little by little. I don’t make a lot of money. I work a 40-hour banking job that pays an average amount, and almost all of my money goes to bills. This is naturally disheartening, especially when there are amazing ice-skating shows all over the country tempting me, and I can’t go. It makes me feel bad about myself, and then I get jealous. And depressed.

I’m not sure how to go about making enough money to pay my debt off quickly, thanks to the brilliant economy. I’ve considered eBay, standing on the street corner, taking on a second job that would drain me entirely, being a surrogate for wealthy and barren couples.. but I’d rather just be lucky.

In the spirit of confession, I’ve made a list of my debts. They are listed from lowest balance to highest, not by interest rate, because I am still trying to decide whether to follow the snowball method of debt reduction or the avalanche method (to be discussed in an upcoming blog). Close your eyes, luvvies. It isn’t pretty.

This is a rough estimate, due to pending payments or charges.

#1: $1,568.61

#2: $4,815.98

#3: $5,405.87

#4: $6,500.66

Grand total: $18,291.12

Typing this out has me in a cold sweat. It’s like stepping on the scale after the holiday season; I’d rather just close my eyes and go to my happy place. After taxes are taken out, that’s more than I make in a year, and those bills that are listed above don’t include rent, utilities, groceries, or anything else. There’s nothing like typing out what you owe to make you feel completely worthless.

But there is a silver lining, or perhaps it’s just a dingy grey one: I’m not avoiding the amount anymore. I know exactly what I owe, and while I have no idea how I’ll ever pay it all back, it’s a start.

So much for going to any ice shows in the near future – or eating, for that matter. Maybe I’ll lose some weight in the process..