Stupid insurance.

So. I was very excited and proud of the fact that my lowest balance card was finally going to have a balance under $1,000. I had a game plan worked out to pay it off in roughly four months, and I was feeling very motivated by that fact.

Sadly, I've run into a hiccup. I received my car insurance bill and need to pay it soon. I was going to put it on a different card (Discover) that would give me reward points for the purchase, since I'm not at a "financial comfort" zone where I can pay it in cash. But my ridiculous insurance company only accepts Mastercard, which happens to be the one card I can pay off in the foreseeable future. They are a nationwide company, so tell me - why the hell don't they accept all major credit cards?

I'm feeling disheartened, because that's going to increase my balance by $400. One step forward, two steps back. Every time I start to make progress towards climbing out of my Debt Chasm of Doom, something like this happens. I can't catch a break. For instance, I just got a promotion at work. This would normally be fantastic news, but thanks to departmental loopholes and the joyous HR department, I don't get a salary raise. I get a lot more work and stress, but no compensation for it.

I give up.

Meh.

Frugality sucks.

I know it’s sensible and generally a good idea, but not spending money is frankly boring. I can only eat uninspired, home cooked meals for so long before I start dreaming of a nice lunch out. I’ve brought the same type of boring coffee to work all week, since I can’t buy new flavored cream until my other stuff has been used up – which also means that frosty Starbucks drinks are dancing in my head. It’s making me grumpy.

I know it’s silly, but when you’re not allowed to shop everything seems that much more enticing and desirable. Much like dieting, I hope it gets easier after time. Right now, all I can think about is a list of items that I would dearly love to purchase. None of them are “needs”, and most of them are things that fiscally responsible people would consider frivolous. I don’t know what makes some people spenders and some savers, but life would certainly be easier if I fell into the latter category.

Saving money is obviously a good idea. So is paying down debt. I know I have to do both of those things if I want to accomplish some bigger things in my life, such as owning a home. But focusing on the bigger picture does nothing to satisfy my cravings for a bustle skirt or a new box of Lush bubble bars. Does anyone have any idea how to counteract the “wants”?

It’s amazing sometimes how spending can be so tied to emotion. For example, I brought a boring peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch all week. I wanted to go out to lunch yesterday, and when I realized that I couldn’t afford it, I got sulky and resentful. I was aware that I was being stroppy but was powerless to stop. 

So the question is this: how do you focus on the big picture to get past everyday hurdles?

Not Buying It and July tally

I’m currently reading (or rather, re-reading) a fantastic book by Judith Levine called “Not Buying It.” The premise is simple: the author and her partner decided to go one year without buying anything. There were provisions, of course. They allowed themselves to buy the necessities, which included groceries and insulin for their diabetic cat. What started out as a simple social experiment turns into a fascinating treatise on consumer culture and the darker side of economics. Obviously I enjoyed it the first time around, if I’m willing to read it again.

I’m not sure if I could go a whole year without recreational shopping, but I’m considering trying this project for a shorter period of time. Since a lot of my problems stem from money, or rather my inability to hold onto my money, it certainly couldn’t hurt. I might be able to actually pay down more on my credit cards – and maybe even save a little. That would be nice, huh?

The bigger question is how long can I last? Given my spending habits, I think a month would be a decent start. If I make it for a month, then I can stretch it out to a longer period of time. It’s going to be hard, though – I love to shop. Obviously, I will be allowed to purchase groceries and pet supplies, as well as gasoline for my car.  What other items count as “essential”?

To keep me accountable, here is my outstanding balance tally after making July payments:

Card 1: $1,334.40

Card 2: $4,292.89

Card 3: $5,054.19

Card 4: $7,878.50

Total: $18,559.98

Difference between last tally:-50.57

A small dent, but still lower than last time. Yay?

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Wow.. I haven’t updated my blog in ages. In fact, I forgot it existed for quite some time until I started recently follow a few personal finance blogs and remembered that I had started one myself. Reading through the old posts makes me cringe a bit, for a few different reasons. The first being that I’m definitely not Weir-obsessed anymore, so please excuse my former ramblings. #embarrassed

The second and even more cringe-inducing one is that I’ve barely managed to make a dent in my four cards. Let’s tot them up, shall we?

Card 1: $1,332.56

Card 2: $4,292.89

Card 3: $5,106.60

Card 4: $7,878.50

Terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad total: $18,610.55

What does this mean? In the two years since I’ve updated, I’ve actually managed to increase my total outstanding balance by $319.43.

Ouch.

But I’m back at it with a vengeance. I have a plan, and that plan is called the Snowball method. I obviously didn’t come up with it (I think that may be down to Dave Ramsey, actually) but I’m going to use it to dig myself out. If you’re not familiar with the concept, snowballing is essentially throwing all the money you can afford at the lowest balance, while continuing to make the minimum payments on all your other cards. When that “lowest” card is paid off, you add the payment from Card 1 to the payment to card 2, thereby increasing your monthly payments. You do the same until all balances are paid off.

Ideally, I will have my cards paid off in three years. I may be able to pull that off, I may not – as I’ve said before, I do love to shop. My life is generally sad, so sometimes buying myself a book or a bath ballistic from Lush makes me a little less miserable. I know that the happiness = things mindset is probably unhealthy and ultimately damaging, but seriously.. I’ve got nothing in my life, so oh well. 

Judge me all you want; you can’t be harder on me than I already am to myself.