Hep me if you can, I'm feeling down..

I’m not against asking for help when the situation calls for it. I don’t pretend to have all the answers.

Now, the credit cards.. yeah, maybe I do need help, but I’m stubborn. I want to try to solve my problems on my own, no matter how long it takes me. Would I prefer to have a windfall? Winning the lottery, a reclusive relative who I’ve never met leaving me millions, finally selling my manuscript? Sure, who wouldn’t. But things like that only happen to the incredibly lucky people who are also usually a-holes.

I got myself into this mess, and I’m going to get myself out of it – little by little. I don’t make a lot of money. I work a 40-hour banking job that pays an average amount, and almost all of my money goes to bills. This is naturally disheartening, especially when there are amazing ice-skating shows all over the country tempting me, and I can’t go. It makes me feel bad about myself, and then I get jealous. And depressed.

I’m not sure how to go about making enough money to pay my debt off quickly, thanks to the brilliant economy. I’ve considered eBay, standing on the street corner, taking on a second job that would drain me entirely, being a surrogate for wealthy and barren couples.. but I’d rather just be lucky.

In the spirit of confession, I’ve made a list of my debts. They are listed from lowest balance to highest, not by interest rate, because I am still trying to decide whether to follow the snowball method of debt reduction or the avalanche method (to be discussed in an upcoming blog). Close your eyes, luvvies. It isn’t pretty.

This is a rough estimate, due to pending payments or charges.

#1: $1,568.61

#2: $4,815.98

#3: $5,405.87

#4: $6,500.66

Grand total: $18,291.12

Typing this out has me in a cold sweat. It’s like stepping on the scale after the holiday season; I’d rather just close my eyes and go to my happy place. After taxes are taken out, that’s more than I make in a year, and those bills that are listed above don’t include rent, utilities, groceries, or anything else. There’s nothing like typing out what you owe to make you feel completely worthless.

But there is a silver lining, or perhaps it’s just a dingy grey one: I’m not avoiding the amount anymore. I know exactly what I owe, and while I have no idea how I’ll ever pay it all back, it’s a start.

So much for going to any ice shows in the near future – or eating, for that matter. Maybe I’ll lose some weight in the process..

First post!

Thank god it’s payday.

The first thing you need to know about me is that I love Things. I love shopping: at retail stores, at grocery stores, and especially online. This doesn’t make me a shallow, silly person. Irresponsible? Maybe. But I have an addictive personality, and spending falls neatly right under that category, along with eating, smoking, and all things Johnny Weir.

Especially Johnny Weir.  I will order mook books from Japan at ridiculous shipping costs, a sequined warm-up jacket with the logo from his television show, Be Good Johnny Weir, DVDs from U.S. Nationals long passed.. the sky is the limit. That’s what credit cards are for, right?

I don’t blame my addictions solely for my spending habits, but they certainly don’t help. I just like things. Pretty things. Shoes, make-up, candles, books (of which I have over 400 – I was an English major, after all). My apartment often looks like it’s been rejected for an episode of Hoarders, and my roommate and I frequently lament that it isn’t one of those chic, almost Spartan dwellings that looks like it’s come off of the pages of an interior design magazine. Whenever I look at those spreads, my first thought is always “but where would I put all my movies?”

The second thing you need to know about me is that I have six credit cards, four of which have substantial balances on them.

The problem started during my junior year of college, when I applied for (and was approved) a hot pink, sparkly card with a limit of $5,000 from a company that may or may not rhyme with Schmapitol One. This was the first card that I qualified for on my own, and it didn’t help that it was adorable. I liked using it; everyone commented on the color and design, but never on the fact that I used it a lot. For a poor college student, it was a magic pass for dinners out with friends, bar tabs, and shopping trips to Sephora that I could only dream of before.

Then I got another. And another. And another. You get the picture. In a matter of six years, I’d gone from debt-free, optimistic student to a frantic crazy-person, living paycheck to paycheck to cover my expenses, up to my eyeballs in debt. How much? The last time I tallied it up, the grand (or gross) total was just under $19,000.

That amount isn’t all to blame on irresponsible spending, though. I could cite the crappy economy, not to mention an out-of-state move that left me looking for a job for eight months. In addition to being my worst enemy, my credit cards also saved me from starvation and god knows what else during my job hunt. Now that I’m gainfully employed, I want to get rid of my debt. I’ve been reading articles, blogs, message boards.. basically everything I can get my hands on that might provide some insight to the best way to get out of debt.

It goes without saying that I’m not a financial guru. The thing I find irritating, though, is that most of the advice offered to people in debt is geared towards people who either understand finance or have gobs and gobs of money to throw at the problem. Where does that leave the rest of us?

That’s why I’m here. I want to do this in layman’s terms, and hopefully by figuring out my own problem I might be able to help some other normal people along the way. This is just an introduction; in my next few blog I’m going to break down my credit cards and discuss a few different debt reduction methods that are out there. Hopefully I can find one that works for me, or even create a new one that is easy to follow and almost guaranteed to work.

Wish me luck?